1. Everyone had access to cheap Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

The one thing I absolutely love about being in the U.S, is the availability of Ben & Jerry's ice cream for cheap. It's usually about USD 3.50 a pint, but right now in this supermarket in West Seattle where I'm at, they're selling for USD 2.50. That's way better than the 11 bucks they go for back home in Singapore. I'm convinced that if everyone had a pint of Ben & Jerry's in their fridge, there'd be less domestic violence and more ice-cream themed sex going on, which would, of course, make the world a better place. Hmm on second thought though, Ben & Jerry's (and especially the rightful ownership of the last spoonful) is usually the reason for domestic violence where I'm concerned.

2. Smoking became illegal.

I can't say this enough, but I hate people who smoke in public. I know that these days, lots of public areas have already become no-go zones for smokers, but that's still not including areas like public walkways, or road junctions where you have to wait for a crossing light, where one is often the hapless victim of lung poisoning. Even though I've never figured out why any sane person would want to screw up his/her body with chemicals and smoke, I really don't care if the self-destruction is done within the confines of one's home. But smokers have a sadistic desire to drag everyone around them down to a tar-filled hell. I think in this instance, smokers present a greater threat to society than drug abusers. At least drug abusers are screwing with themselves in some underground nook, but smokers, they're right up there strolling along the street, blowing nicotine in my face.

3. Exercise was mandatory in exchange for a significant tax credit.

Quiz any average working adult and chances are, they'd reveal two severe dislikes they have in their lives: exercise, and paying taxes. But if physical fitness was incentivized by a significant tax credit, I'm guessing a significant number of people would see new reason to lace up their running shoes again. Plus, this would be a concrete pat on the back for those of us who are already embracing a healthy lifestyle. There could be some sort of yearly fitness testing, some kind of time accumulation system, or a stipulated number of sports events to participate in, for the relevant government body to ascertain that one has indeed fulfilled those exercise hours. And in the long run, governments would end up saving more money by not spending on sedentary lifestyle-related health problems, than they would have lost from the tax credit. How's that for a fair exchange.

4. Someone invented a healthy version of pizza-and it can't just be a flattened sandwich.

We all need to eat; but most of us have no time for a real meal on a regular week day. Enter ubiquitous fast food. I have to admit that while I'm not a fan of MacD's or KFC, the whole fast food thing really kinda works when you have 3.2 minutes to buy a meal before the next meeting. And I really love a good pizza. And I especially love how I can buy a giant slice stacked crazily with pepperoni and eat it out on the street. If you use your imagination a little, a slice of pizza provides perfect nutrition. If you get one with everything on it, you have carbs and protein, and onions, green peppers and olives count as vegetables. I'm convinced that pizza aficionados (and people the world over looking for meals on the run) wouldn't complain if someone came up with a less artery-clogging, but equally yummy version.

5. Companies weren't allowed to use machines on their phone-in customer service lines.

There is a very good reason why I'd usually commute for nearly an hour down to my nearest mobile phone service provider store, than pick up the phone and drive myself crazy for almost the same amount of time. I'm sure I'm not the only one with an extreme hatred for mechanical voices on the other end that rattle off ten service options with corresponding digits to punch in-and by the time you get to the last option, you can no longer remember why you were calling, or which was the correct digit to press. And in your great frustration, you key in something wrong, and after five rounds of machine-voice madness, the robot operator says you have done something inexplicably wrong, politely thanks you for your time and then hangs up. Screaming doesn't help either, since that's not on the option menu.

It gets even crazier in the U.S. Here, the companies are totally into voice-command technology, but the trouble is, this technology should not be allowed on the market when it's in this stage of crap. Last week, I called up United Airlines to check on my air ticket to Seattle, and this annoyingly chirpy male voice asked me to tell him the service I required. Unfortunately, he couldn't understand my "funny Singaporean accent", as Mike usually calls it, and kept telling me that he couldn't process my request. The world would be a much happier place, if we could talk to humans.