I am undecided about the Ah Lian-ess of my fashion sense because to say ‘Ah Lian', the images of long fingernails as well as accessories with bells everywhere come to mind.

I am far from being Vogue though, and I never read magazines or try and catch up with the latest fashion.

My wardrobe is a dump but I believe most of the clothes are black, royal blue and yellow.

I might be a Julen (I'm all for your maroon long sleeve, bro) at this one - my clothes are all cheap (around or less than SGD$10) and I can wear them over and over and they each average about 4 years old.

I never believe in paying for brands or just to look nice - I make clothes look good actually.

And with our kind of climate, I've tons of tube tops and shorts. And that means a few more extra points to Ah Lian-ness.

Shopping is done whenever I'm in Thailand, or online (I buy 2nd hand clothes off eBay). At least I wouldn't have to worry about bumping into someone wearing the same thing as myself.

Siam Square, BKK

So what exactly is MY fashion sense? I should be mostly Ah Lian, afterall.

See, you don't expect me to be out in T-shirts or sleeved tops because I have very broad shoulders on my small frame. And to top that off I have E-cup boobs and a short torso. It makes me look like a tree trunk. And add to my misery the humidity... the last thing I want is musky breast odour or pimples down my cleavage (it happens, unfortunately).

So to counter having acne in between my twins, I air them as much as possible, meaning I have to don clothes with lesser material.

I sweat like a pig so I wear shorts - lesser material to wash will mean lesser scolding from my dad ‘because we use up a lot of Earth's resources just to wash clothes'.

So my tiny tops and shorts will go with my 3-inch heels just so that I can reach the cashier counters at NTUC.

I do have a number of dresses - I love dresses. The only thing bad about them is the fact that I don't own a bag or even a purse that matches (I usually throw all my belongings into an umbrella cover).

They cost a lot more and I get to wear them only when I feel like I bother to put on make-up (they'll look like nightgowns if I go with a plain face, right?) And how do I pick these dresses?

They have to be a mini or a maxi. I can't do anything in between, and the lacier the better.

I can vaguely recall my first encounter with lace - I put on my mom's lace undies when I was 3 or 4, and I thought they looked glamourous. That preference stays and I got involved in the lace and leather fetish.

You Don't Mess With The Resident Vamp

With my darling Eileen Wee

Let's go a little backwards into history.

During the awkward puberty years (90s), I guess baggy was ‘in' and I wore mostly track pants, baggy tee-shirts plus big and brightly-coloured WINDBREAKERS. They went with flip-flops or Bata track shoes and I thought I was cool.

Otherwise I'd be that groupie who was far from sporty but was seen in sportswear.

Yeah, it is to my horror that I found this pic:

That's OTT at the top, plus The Mofatts and that's me and the Yo-Yo guy

Then I was a fashion mess until the reality TV singing contest I took part in - suddenly I got on the ‘rocker' phase (it remains whenever I get onstage) and I got into even more body piercing as my chokers/wriststraps/chains/jewellery increased.

Me, pre-cosmetic surgery




Me, post-surgery and going through facial-piercing phase

Then came a time in 2006 when I was in love and trying to be Julia Volkova (of t.A.T.u) and I cropped my hair real short and started wearing mini skirts.

And now, I've all these clothes sitting in my wardrobe that I would say I'm a little bit of everything mentioned above.

But most days I'm just in my bra and shorts walking around the house.

Don't forget what I need to air.